last nite i dreamt that the entire team sabasket was in sabah again and tis time we stayed for more than 2 wks. i barely remember the details, but i can remember a bunch of us sleeping together in our cosy sleeping bags, and a few trying to stay awake for sentry duty. *lol*
i woke up feeling like a different person-cliche as it sounds-, the rhythm of my heartbeat was slightly different from before, and its just an indescribable feeling lah. hmm miss the good old days alot.

on monday i purposely overslpt so that i wldnt haf to go to sch early for some stupid talk. hooray! when i reached sch i realised dat dey were catching latecomers to 'barbeque' them at the bball court, so i ran out of sch and hid in the nearby coffeeshop until assembly was over. its been a long time since i had so much fun escaping trouble. later that aftrn, while daryl n i were pia-ing our homework at the study area, kailin joined us. haha that guy gets distracted really easily, and he barely got any work done. he is even interested in some guy that ran past the study area. when gals walk past, he is all the more distracted. lol hafta keep scolding him ' you better do ur work properly if u dun wanna get kicked out.'

well, i still miss the 118 pple. although i talk alot to sha over da phone, i dun get to see him that frequently anymore. we were going to haf a competition at the beach- see who can roll down the sand into the sea at a faster speed. i even practised at home! but too bad. and joreen, i miss you miss you lots! jc life is really different wifout you by our side. zude, will always remember you telling me how u miss 118.

my new class-216. lotsa interesting people and a funny CT- bernard. the other day he was showing us how to do abseiling in econs tut, and he looked darn cartoon. *lol* once, he dashed into the classroom matrix-style and skidded on the grd while trying to stop. and we could see his hair flying up because of the wind effect. he was so kiddy, like some lil boy trying to act cool. and he's lame lor. the other day, when he couldnt understand wad was goin on, he drew a fish and a question mark on the transparency, and he keep saying 'blur fish'. =)

our class is really full of slackers, and most of dem dun even bother to copy notes. some happily skip lessons when they feel like it. our gp tutor was on course for two days, and during her lessons, we hecked her instructions and even went to makan. on friday we got a tongue-lashing from her (which lasted for more than an hour) but seriously, her yells were so boring dat i was trying not to fall aslp. geez* ultimately she walked out of the clazrm and we went to makan.

i like my class, though i feel abit extra at times cos its mostly ex-117 people. we are graduating together after all, and i hope we will haf a fantabulously good year together. =) ex-118+ ex-117+steph+cindy. 118 was notorious for being late & damn noisy, particularly for running up the stairs screaming and luffing. 117 had the ultimate slackers and ponners. lol meybe 216 will get blacklisted. wahaha fun!

had a great time painting the lit clazroom a nice buttercup yellow wif my clazmates on sat. the actual time was 8am, but most people overslpt. lol* we ordered macdonalds (delivery) and i had fun pretending dat my big breakfast bread are pizza and bdae cake by cutting dem into slices of 8. self-entertainment. =)

memories. are memories meant to fade so that we will learn to move on? how many of us vividly remember wad happened during our kindergarten days?

tis aftrnoon, as i stood looking at the scenery from the highest storey-birds swooping by and the endless blue sky (whats beyond it actually?)- random thoughts chugged thro my mind. i realised that i've changed alot from a kid to now, a half-child half-adult. Is this God's plan? the meiling i knew from my psch days has long died. i am still evolving and i wonder, years down the road, will i know who i am inside?

i really admire lil kids because in all their innocence and naivety, they open up to others easily. some can play happily wif strangers at the playgrd. they are sincere in their frenships and this enables them to form close bonds of trust amongst one another. as for adults, when we meet new people, in some cases, there is a tinge of apprehension and doubt. trust? it has to be built. wad if you stab a knife in my back tomorrow? and even if dere is trust, there is no 100%? (haha, xj daryl rt taught me this)

lets say you and fren suay suay get kidnapped. the kidnapper says, one of you must die, but the other gets to live. he waves a gun in the air. will you haf the courage to sacrifice yourself for ur fren's survival? human nature is selfish, and this shows when we are thrown into desperate circumstances and death is staring at us in the face, is this true? do hope i am wrong.

the world is developing at such a fast rate, but is it at the cost of the true meanings of the existence of life? we may haf the coolest gadgets, but we dun haf the time to meet up frequently wif our old frens whom we promised 'frens forever'. gone are the days whereby a couple will fall in love since their childhood days and stay together until they count white hair. how many of us haf a clear understanding of our purpose in living?

when you lose something very very precious (something that has kept you moving in life thru life's storms and rainbows), will you quietly wait for it to come back to you, believe that something better will come along or learn to live life without it despite the aching pain in ur heart?

so where do i go from here?

its been so long
the tears wun flow anymore

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, loving someone deeply gives you courage."