all streams flow to the sea, but the sea is never full.

being a seeker of perfection, i tend to beat myself up over the little thgs. my failure to make thgs better, the fear to speak frm my heart without reservations, my inability to cry when im sad, to smile when im happy. that my tears are alrdy dried up deep inside long ago. how i super suck at decision making. that i alwys leave thgs incomplete. that im too lazy to blog frequently. that i lack the courage to deal with changes, take a path of my own and make thgs happen. that i build a stone wall ard my heart. how i don see happiness anywhere in my home, with all that yelling going on every moment. that im always tuning out. that i cant hear properly, and people hafta repeat themselves all the time. how violent and vulgar i get. that im never gd enough. how i stuff myself with junk food when im not flg too gd or bored. that i don drink 8 glasses of water a day, and eat 2 servgs of fruits and vegetables. how im addicted to chocolates. too many imperfections in my life. that im difficult to love cos i can hardly accept it when somebody's gd to me, so i run away. how my imagination runs wild and takes over me, and i think too much, too deep, too 'absurbly'. how my rollercoaster emotions freak me out. how i say mean stuff when i really don mean it (no pun intended). how i dislike makg plans and drawg up lists, although i knw thats really useful in gettg my life on track. how silly i feel when i keep waitg for somethg so impossible. still waters run deep, im like a deep dark well and who you think i am isnt really who i am. then again, who i am isnt who i think i am. that i haf so many questions, but so little answers. that i lack the motivation to work out although i seriously need to get fit. how i don wanna care about money, but i need it to survive. that im like an emotional baggage garbage truck, i hold on tight to pieces of my past, no matter hw tattered and torn they are. the number of flaws i haf, cant even count them wif my ten fingers.

ok, i cld go on and on, but enough bitching about myself for now :)

but the darker the night sky, the brighter the stars can shine, i believe.